I really should probably wait to start this thing. It's not like I'm even pregnant yet. And there's always the chance that we might not be able to get pregnant, etc. etc. I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch.
But, in one way or another, we eventually plan to be a family of 4, and we are trying again, and that seems like reason enough to warrant a new blog for baby #2.
It's funny to me how I'm just as freaked out and anxious about getting pregnant this time around. I thought that since I'd been through it once, since I know that it's a long long process, since I already have one super active toddler to take care of, that I would be more patient and not think about it as much. Nope. Instead, I'm the crazy lady taking pregnancy tests every day.
It's so scary and exciting all at the same time. The actual pregnancy/giving birth part scares me less, but now there's so much else to consider. Will I be able to handle pregnancy AND Samuel? I know so many people who've miscarried the second time around - Will that be me? Will my labor & delivery be worse this time? Will I deal with PPA again? Will this baby be healthy and whole? Can I actually keep my mouth shut once I AM pregnant? There's a lot to consider there.
Plus, I know everyone says it happens, but it's hard to imagine loving another child as much as I love Samuel. Can my heart really handle it?
Really, though, I am so thrilled at the thought of having another little person to love, a sweet new baby to snuggle and raise and call our own. I love the idea of Samuel transitioning into a big brother, putting his bossiness to use. Haha.
It will be hard and I seriously worry about my ability to manage two kids 24/7 sometimes. But I know God's grace is sufficient, and I'm looking forward to seeing what he will do in the life of our sweet family. :-)
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